even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
