He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
