the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
