He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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