Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
