guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
