and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
