I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
