i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
The adults are the big ones right?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
