i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
