imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
