dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Boobs speak an international language.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
