I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
