True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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