shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Me. At least after what I've been through.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
