everyone is single if you try hard enough
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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