Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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