im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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