Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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