why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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