Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
