Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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