hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
