so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
