She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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