Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
