Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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