I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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