Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
