so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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