Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
