I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
