Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
