So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
