so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
