And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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