i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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