***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
