Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
