it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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