You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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