I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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