I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
