Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
