What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
