Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
