Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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