:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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