walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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