I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
