I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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