This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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