New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
